Rants & Raves
with more money than sense or real live biker?
So this guy pulls up next to you on whatever local boulevard you happen to be cruising. You look over and notice that everything this guy has is brand new.
I'm talking brand new bike (probably a 97 or 98 heritage with every factory chrome gee-gaw available), brand new leather jacket (looks like one of those fancy factory jobs), new chaps (some kinda concho laden things), new gloves (more conchos here), leather head wrap (still more conchos) and conchos (some with additional conchos added).
So I'm thinking to myself: "Don't write this guy off, he could be a really nice guy or a long-suffering soul who inherited a buncha dough from an unknown dead uncle. He might not be a slime-bag rich kid! Maybe he was home wrenching on his panhead chopper when he hit the lottery. Maybe his wife (who has no taste) won the lottery and bought all this stuff for him. Maybe a truck hit his wife and the insurance company bought all this stuff for him to replace his wife."
The Big Question
question remains...how do you tell people with more money than sense from real bikers who
just happened to have bought a buncha new stuff. I'm here to tell you I've finally found a
fool-proof (that lets me out) method of determining riders from posers.
There's an exception to this rule...and (not to be sexist) but that's when it
come to female passengers. In this case, six-inch spike heels are not a sign of ignorance,
they're a thing of beauty. If the lady on the back ain't shiftin' gears, then she's NEVER
GOING TO PUT HER FEET DOWN, anyway. So she can wear whatever she wants (as long as it's
got six inch heels, is thigh-high and made of black leather...pant, pant). Female chopper
pilots generally have the footgear thing down pat, 'cause they tried to ride a sportster
in sneakers and there are still scars from the melting plastic.
New leathers (bike, etc.) and loafers with white
socks - Jerk. Keep your distance.